lulubonanza:

Drawn By
Kevin Barber

Blog

ATTENTION PARENTS W/ TEENAGE KIDS…please, for the love of god…BEAT YOUR KIDS…the boys are the girls and the girls are the boys…IF YOU DON’T DO THIS WE WILL BECOME AN AMAZONIAN SOCIETY (and later an incectian society where the males are used for reproduction and then eaten by the queen)…and let’s face it…BROADS GENERALLY MAKE THE WORST LEADERS…why…THEY THINK W/ EMOTION RATHER THAN LOGIC (alright, men think w/ their dicks)…i know i sound like a male shuvanist pig, but i look at it like this…MOJO IS ALWAYS RIGHT AND KNOWS IS OWN KIND (self absorbed, emotional little bitches who were over medicated as a child) WHEN HE SEES THEM…i was the prototype of this generation, goddamnit…BRING IT ON, BITCHES!

rrible), Ryan Reynolds (dane cook’s clone), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (nuff said, he ruined gijoe and batman), anyone from The Twilight Saga (literally the cast, director, producer, writer, author, fans, even the boom mic guy), Collin Farrell (it’s not his fault it’s his agent for casting him in remakes), and whoever i’m missing…FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU…please, for the love of god…STOP SUCKING YOUR AGENT’S DICK!

SINCE MOJO ISN’T GETTING ANY REAL FEEDBACK ON THE LAST FEW RANTS…it’s time to really push your buttons on what really gets you facebook losers all worked up…SHIT TALK ON BANDS…i know that i’m too old and too young to get anyone, but seriously Avenged Sevenfold is overrated just like the kings of the pity fuck bands Warner Drive…YOU DON’T ROCK YOU DON’T SUCK YOU ARE JUST MEDIOCRE…you dress a little better than others, don’t sound too bad or good, and because of it…EVERYONE LIKES YOU…just like Nickelback…AND…to all fans of Cattle Decapitation…BEING VEGAN IS NOT METAL…the same can be said about Demon Hunter and being a christian band…NOW BRING ON SOME HATEMAIL, YA FUCKING TROLLS…2nite on The Sunset Strip it’s the California Metalfest battle of the bands aka bands who can’t afford to pay to play the real event and so they’re whoring themselves so they can play around breakfast time 2morrow at the Key Club, the SMOG’s 6 year anniversary at the Roxy Theatre (never heard of ‘em and don’t care), Checkpoint Charlie at the Whisky A Go Go (never heard of ‘em either), and Cardiac at The Viper Room…LIKE IT REALLY FUCKING MATTERS…i’m a jaded asshole, you are all my bitches, David Jonathan DiSarro-Cardiac’s my nigga, i might stop by there if i’m on the guestlist, but the viper has been dicks to me lately and the way i look at it…BOW DOWN TO MOJO OR FUCK OFF…there, i said it…LET MOJO BACK AS A HOUSE GUEST OR GO FUCK YOURSELF…i’m the fucking phenom of the sunset strip and if you don’t recognize you’re a punk ass, gay ass, coward ass, fake ass bitch…WHAT NIGGA WHAT?

Almost Famous said it best about all these so-called rockstars: “You CANNOT make friends with the rock stars. That’s what’s important. If you’re a rock journalist - first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. And they’ll buy you drinks, you’ll meet girls, they’ll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs… I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it. “

and yes…MOJO IS THE ENEMY..in fact i am the ultimate enemy…MOJO’S GOT STYLE, HE COULD DO YOUR JOB BETTER, AND WILL RAPE YOU IN THE BUTT…if yer my nigga then don’t worry, but if yer not…TIME TO LAYETH DOWN THE PIMPETH HAND!

ANYWAYS…i just saw the trailer for Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters and thought to myself…THEY WILL JUST GREEN LIGHT ANYTHING, WON’T THEY…it stars the guy who played Hawkeye (the most useless of the Avengers), that broad who was in Clash of the Titans, and Jean Grey from the original X-Men Movies….DUDE…haven’t you learned from the failure of Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter…WHEN’S MOJO’S BIG FUCKING BREAK…my shit is better than this, but no…YOU HAVE TO HOOK UP FUKKHEDZ…give me a budget and i could do a better job than all of you inside the box fukkhedz put together…HERE’S AN IDEA FOR A MOVIE…me, a bunch of naked broads in trechcoats and guns wearing mojo warpaint, go to all the studios and hold ‘em hostage…WHAT DO YOU THINK (this is not a threat it’s a movie pitch)..now to see if what i said earlier about The Viper Room doesn’t bite me in the ass…MOJO WAS WIRED…i had a NOS Energy Drinkwhile taking Necro Nicki to work (and that’s a far drive in the morning), helped around the house as soon as i got home, got harassed by Balboa Press Publishing, started preparations for the next issue of Lost Anarchy Magazine, stress out about getting new gear in time to do the next issue, dealing w/ trying to learn german (the version of the Adobe Photoshop and Adobe InDesign i downloaded are in fucking german) while trying to work on my art…IS ZOLL THE SAME AS EQUALS?

for weeks i have been holding back from getting stupid Republican Party comments, but since 2morrow is election day and i’ll prolly make a comic out of it later…LET THE WAR BEGIN…fuck Mitt Romney…IF THE MORMON AND THE ANDROID GETS ELECTED THEN THE NATION WILL GET WORSE…yes, Barack Obama isn’t that great, but romney is worse…NOW BRING ON YOUR RIGHT WING SISTER FUCKER COMMENTS AND BUY THIS BOOK…if Mitt Romney wins im going back to Heavenly trip to hell, cuz if those peasant kings can build a whole following on how much they hate George W. Bush then romney will be even easier…AND THIS TIME WE’S DOING IT MOJO’S WAY…none of this talk on revolution and half assing your plan…WHAT NIGGA WHAT…if you vote Mitt Romney and under 30…YER A RACIST…don’t get me wrong…EVERYONE’S A LITTLE RACIST…i hate mormons, but that’s a religion and i hate the fan fiction of the bible…AND THE BIBLE IS BULLSHIT TOO…comedian Lewis Black said it best…THE REASON WHY THE HEBREWS WROTE THE OLD TESTAMENT WAS THAT THEY WERE CRAZY AND HAD TO DO IT SO THEY WOULDN’T GO CRAZY…and remember…WHEN A BROAD GETS HORNY AND VIOLENT WHEN SHE DRINKS IT’S OKAY TO SOCK HER WHEN SHE GETS VIOLENT (choking her while fucking is good too)!

This morning Necro Nicki thought i was her bitch again and i realized that if you enable people w/ their bad behavior bad karma will follow…A LESSON TO ALL Y’ALL TO GET YOUR SPINE BACK…you see, this year is a valid lesson of broads getting you into trouble…ONE GOT MOJO’S VIP STATUS VETOED FROM A VENUE (the new general manager from the viper room took my house guest powers taken away, cuz of the fabulous miss wendy) AND THE OTHER CONTINUES TO DO STUPID DECISIONS AND CONTINUES TO DRAG MOJO INTO IT (necro nicki)…this morning i stood up for myself to one of em…AND SINCE MOJO GOT MONEY OUT OF BOTH OF THEM IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON…still, i wish wendy would still put out, cuz she was a whole lotta fun, but whatever…THE PRICE OF HAVING INTEGRITY…i wish i was stupid like nicki so i can get whatever i want…THIS IS THE DOWNSIDE OF OUR MODERN SOCIETY…the dumber you are the more you get the smarter you are the harder you have to either work…THAT OR THERE’S ALWAYS PLAN B!

TIME TO STIR UP SOME SHIT…i’m sorry, but screen printing shirts is not a clothing line it’s a t-shirt company just like dj’s are not musicians…MOJO CAN SPOT PHONIES, CUZ HE’S AS MUCH OF A PHONEY IN THE ART WORLD…at least i can admit it…DETHISTO (the evil voice in everyone’s head) HAS RETURNED TO RIG ELECTIONS AND MAKE SURE 2012 HAPPENS (along w/ his entourage)…and yes he knows who the real Paul Ryan VP’s true identity…HE’S NOT JUST A PUPPET…he was either created by skynet or by Walt Disney Imagineering…EITHER WAY HE’S NOT A REAL PERSON…isn’t it funny that the right wing is pro-death penalty and anti-abortion and the left wing is anti-death penalty and pro-abortion…MOJO IS PRO-DEATH…i believe is ridding the world of stupid people (both born and unborn)…AND BY THE WAY…if yer a fan of Cattle Decapitation just know this…BEING VEGAN OR ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVIST ISN’T METAL…now bring on the hatemail, fukkhedz!